Ryan
Every time Hazel uses her debit card:
Card reader: Purchase $14.57 Okay?
Hazel: *whispers* Okay...

babygoatsandfriends:

breebade:

A few years ago at my school there was a senior prank where two goats were released in the school and were labeled “1” and “3”. The teachers and administrators spent four hours trying to find goat “2”.

thats hilarious

chiltonomics:

peonymoonflower:

cucumbersforlegs:

THIS NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH. I FEEL LIKE SHIT AND IVE SEEN THIS PICTURE A HUNDRED TIMES BUT I AM STILL LAUGHING JFC

It’s funnier to me bc I have that exact same dish

Everyone has that dish.

chiltonomics:

peonymoonflower:

cucumbersforlegs:

THIS NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH. I FEEL LIKE SHIT AND IVE SEEN THIS PICTURE A HUNDRED TIMES BUT I AM STILL LAUGHING JFC

It’s funnier to me bc I have that exact same dish

Everyone has that dish.

awwww-cute:

My friend had her daughters at a zoo when she heard, “Ma’am, there’s a lemur on your baby

awwww-cute:

My friend had her daughters at a zoo when she heard, “Ma’am, there’s a lemur on your baby

elimin8theimpossible:

cricsyxo:

divinedorothy:

egotastical:

divinedorothy:

bisexual people aren’t more likely to cheat in relationships but we are more likely to cheat at cards, while lesbians are most likely to cheat at jenga, and genderqueer people often cheat at mario kart

how the fuck do you cheat at jenga

ask a lesbian

image

this is never not funny

bookgeekconfessions:

booksandhotchocolate:

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was released seven years ago - July 21, 2007.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT WAS 7 YEARS AGO!

motherfuckingsantamaster:

if you ever doubt the power of music

just remember that the entire fucking United States has discontinued the phone number 867-5309 

helpmeihavealameurl:

Harry Potter by the numbers

helpmeihavealameurl:

Harry Potter by the numbers

detectivanilla:

percymyjackson:

So my driving teacher has three fingers on one hand and four on the other and he makes puns about it and it’s great. And today he was like “I went to the museum and found my ancestors’ look guys!” And showed us this…

WHY DOES THIS NOT HAVE MORE NOTES

detectivanilla:

percymyjackson:

So my driving teacher has three fingers on one hand and four on the other and he makes puns about it and it’s great.
And today he was like
“I went to the museum and found my ancestors’ look guys!”
And showed us this…

WHY DOES THIS NOT HAVE MORE NOTES

If you’re gonna bail, bail early. This applies to relationships, college classes, and sledding.
Advice from my high school science teacher, Mr. Miller (via zackisontumblr)